I woke up that night in a mess of sweat and tears. Vivid dreams kept coming back to me, they seemed like distant memories though I had no recollection of any of it. Sitting in the Spitfire's dressing room. Hearing the news that Mickey was gone. Falling onto the ground in a heap of tears. Taylor falling next to me. It was a blur. But a vivid blur.
I clenched onto my bed, I felt sick. I couldn't keep a grasp onto what was real and what wasn't. What seemed like yesterday was actually over a year and half ago. Now matter how hard I tried to think back, or forward for that matter, nothing would come to me. I was terrified. I couldn't even look at Taylor, he looked so sad, like a part of him was gone, and a part of me was missing too, and it wasn't just Mickey, it was something else, something I couldn't remember.
How could I even begin to explain to her everything that had happened over the past year? It was impossible, we had gone through too much.
I laced up my skates and pulled my jersey over my head before stepping onto the ice for the Memorial Cup final. How could I focus on this game when there was so much more I had to worry about? When the was Jasey to worry about.
The entire game was a daze, I was playing my normal game, but my mind was somewhere else, it was a daze. Before I knew it I had the Memorial Cup in my hand and the boys were pulling out the Renaud jersey to celebrate in the picture. Flashes were going off everywhere, but I could only focus on one thing. Making sure everything got set back to the way it was a month ago, Jasey smiling again, my hand wrapped tightly around hers.
I wasn't going to stop. Ever.